My Grief

Grief.

Grief for me is guilt, pain, loss, shame and so much more.

I grieve the loss of my mother who was my entire world, and me hers. I

I grieve the loss of my cat who gave me love when I felt alone.

I grieve for the family who lost their children and their mother on the same day.

I grieve the loss of my home, and everything I built from the bottom up.

I grieve the "friends" that turned their backs on me, betrayed me, or passed away.

I grieve my old reputation.

I grieve being considered “normal.”

I just grieve.

It’s cliche and maybe even morbid but one day we all will die. Every single one of us.

So instead of watching Netflix by yourself, call a loved one to watch it with you. Instead of ignoring your kids, take them to the park, or read them a book.

Make memories with those you love or care about because one day, ONE DAY all you’ll have left will be those memories.

People say I’m “strong”. I’m not strong, I just have a poker face on. I’m actually dying inside.

I keep my will to live not because I’m supposed to, but because I wouldn’t dare put my loved ones through such heartache prematurely.

Cherish your loved ones and cherish yourself. If you need help, ask for it, if you don’t get it, don’t give up! Know that you are not alone, and you never will be if I can help it.

I’m appreciative for everyone who has been there for me and who continue to be here for me.

I am forever grateful for the people in my life who understand mental health and who know my character. Those who know I would NEVER purposely hurt another being. Not even an enemy.

With that said, please enjoy every day the best way you can, with the people you love, because one day it’ll all be over…