Angel's Story

Hi, I’m Angel.

When I was 14 years old, I tried to take my own life.

Since I was 6 years old, I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety. I was sexually abused as a child.

I had a father who chose to have nothing to do with me which ruined me mentally and emotionally. I’ve always felt worthless and not enough.

At 14, I gave up. I tried to overdose on medications. I was admitted to the hospital but barely remember it.

I was in a state of psychosis.

Fast forward to adulthood, I went through phases of depression and very “high “moments (mania).

Moments when I could function properly and complete tasks quicker than normal.

I noticed I’d get irritated easily and would cry on and off. Up and down moods.

When I’m under extreme stress it causes me to go into a psychosis.

I used to hear and see things when I was going through a breakdown.

I’ve even seen dark figures when I was overly stressed.

My husband has been incarcerated for almost a decade, so I have been struggling on my own.

He too struggles with his mental health. Specifically, depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder.

We lean on each other for support, but I often feel alone.

One day I went to work, and my mind told me to just not be here anymore.

I blacked out and ended up in the ER and they put in in the psychiatric unit for self-harm.

I was released on medications, but they were not a good fit for me, and I ended up back in the ER four months later, due to psychosis.

The psychiatric unit did help me to know the importance of taking my medications as scheduled.

My diagnosis, for a long time, made me unable to function. I would have severe panic attacks to the point of vomiting.

This was a daily occurrence for me until I started weekly therapy.

I also take a new regimen of medications that work for me.

My therapist told me to get up and walk and not think of what’s going on when I have a panic attack. To think about something that will distract me.

So, I always do house chores or go for a walk with my dog.

I also journal.

But the medications have helped me so much.

I would even say they have changed my life!

The only issue is being able to afford them, as I currently have no insurance. I am working on an immediate solution though.

If my story can help reduce the stigma around mental health, I don’t mind sharing.

I can’t publicly tell people because people will judge me, and I already feel alone.

So, I choose to be anonymous.

But mental health matters so I still decided to share!

Thanks,

Angel!

Written by: Natasha BYTS